What cheers you up when you’re having a bad day? Heck, what cheers you up no matter what kind of day you’re having? Humor, of course! Funny quotes, especially, have a tendency to turn your frown into a smile in no time. The thing about humorous quotes is that they are not just funny – they often communicate a certain aspect of truth that is just refreshing to hear every once in a while. Here are five funny female celebrity quotes to help brighten your day.
Lana Turner was a famous actress of days gone by, so she may not be known for her humor per se, but one of her quotes strikes the right balance between humor and wit. A long time ago, she was quoted as saying, “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”
Elayne Boosler is an American comic who has been active for quite a long time. She’s had some successful cable shows and appearances on TV, some of which have generated outrage. Here, Boosler presents an ingenious observation on lock picking that may well revolutionize the home security industry: “I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.”
Ethel Mumford was an American author active in the early part of the 20th century. This is one of the most popular quotes attributed to her: “God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.”
Another woman who is not noted for her contributions to humor nonetheless uttered a memorable quote that has stood the test of time. She was quoted as saying, “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”
This is a great gender-based joke from a cohort of the women’s rights movement of the twentieth century, Marilyn Monroe. Considering Monroe’s stature as a sex symbol and her frequent film portrayals of the “dumb blonde” stereotype, this is a quote that women’s studies classes will be dissecting for years to come.
It’s not surprising to see funny quotes attributed to Joan Rivers. A doozy of a quote that’s attributed to her goes like this: “I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes — and six months later you have to start all over again.”
This joke throws the reader a curveball, starting with the usual complaints about the nuisance that is housework before departing into an unexpected admission of how infrequently she actually does housework.
These are the five funny female celebrity quotes to brighten your day. Note how some on this list aren’t even regarded as comics, yet they were still able to provide humorous and sometimes insightful commentary into the state of how things really are. No matter what has you feeling down, just remember that laughter is the best medicine.